Start Spreading The Word....

Life is EXCITING right now. On 9/6 we met with our sweet caseworker, Brenda, and officially began the adoption process with LDS Family Services. We have been dutifully filling out online forms, offline forms, and sending in copies of documents. Brenda says we will probably be approved in December, but we are hoping it will be before that. I can honestly say that it has felt like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders since we prayerfully decided to pursue adoption. I have also learned though that choosing adoption hasn't alleviated all my past pain, but also stirred up some new feelings. My battle with Infertility was a rough one. I came out bruised and battered and wondering where my old self had gone. When we made the decision to adopt I felt alive again. I felt like my dreams were possible again. Shortly after we began the process and I was swimming in a mound of paperwork I felt exhausted. I felt as if I went from one hard situation (infertility) to another (the adoption process). I cried. And then I cried some more. Why was life so hard? Why did everything seem like a giant obstacle for me that seemed so easy for others? But maybe that was the point. Maybe all along this was the lesson I was to learn. Life is hard. We are dealt things that seem impossible to overcome. And it hurts. And you feel overwhelmed. But it is worth it. All of our struggles with infertility. All of our failed procedures. All of that pain. It was and is and will be worth it.

So that is where we are with the adoption process. Just continuing to send in things and patiently waiting to be approved. We know there is a special birth mother and child out there just for us. The agency talks a lot about waiting vs. finding and how finding is being proactive while waiting is the opposite. Although we are not approved yet we are going to begin the "finding" process now. Share our blog! Share our facebook page! Share our information with anyone you feel inspired to! We plan on making a button that you can paste on your blogs too. We're so grateful for the support our friends and family have given us and we're so excited for all of you to go on this journey with us!

Check out our Adoption blog:

breinholtadoptionjourney.blogspot.com

Or our Adoption Facebook Page:

http://www.facebook.com/breinholtadoption

Have questions? Contact Us!

breinholtadoption@gmail.com

A Tale of Two Cities..

Wow, life is just blowing by. The semester is over and I spent it traveling back and forth from Pflugerville to DFW. My classes were online but I had to go on campus to take the exams. So three times this semester I packed up my stuff (including my work computer) and stayed with my parents in Keller. I can safely say that I don't think I'll ever be a traveling coder. It is exhausting going back and forth. So I would get there the weekend before, study, take my tests that Mon/Tues, work the rest of my week at my parent's, and then go home the next weekend. But it is all over now and I got an A and a B so all is well.

Another major change these past few months was with my career. I applied and got offered two new jobs. I accepted the second offer and now work for the 2nd biggest healthcare company in Central Texas. My previous employer was the biggest. I started my new job in the middle of April and things have been going great so far. I still have the option to work from home but have deferred that for now so I can enjoy the company of my new co-workers. It's so nice to be around human beings again! I love my dogs, but they aren't good conversationists. I also am working PRN (as needed) for my old boss. My days consists of coding, coding, and then more coding. But in a time where many are losing jobs or having a hard time finding one, we feel extremely blessed and lucky to have two.

I also got into the Health Information Management program at Texas State University. I start next Fall. Heath is nearing his last year at UT for his undergraduate degree. No one is more giddy with excitement about that great news than me! I am proud of him and the work he has done these past 2 years. UT is a very hard school and he has done wonderfully.

Life is moving on. It seems like yesterday that Heath and I had gotten married and started down our own road with our life's dreams. Things have changed a lot, but not our love for one another. I am so glad to have him to share in life's ups and downs. I couldn't do it without him!

New Year, New Plans

We have finally made a decision on two important things.

1. I am going back to school

and

2. We are going to adopt.

I start back to school this semester. I'll be doing online courses at TCC and am also putting in my application for the BS in Health Information Management program at Texas State University. If I get in, I will start their online program this Fall. Since I already have my Associate's degree I will be allowed to finish my final two years completely online. Pretty awesome deal. I have to do a great big shout out to my parents for once again stepping up to the plate and helping me out with the tuition costs until I am able to pay them back. My work does tuition reimbursement but-for logical reasons- they don't pay you back until after you've completed the courses. We struggle enough with paying our bills, taking care of two dogs, and taking care of Heath's school expenses so it was such a blessing for my family to be so willing to help us out. I don't know what I would do without them. They are always there when I need them. I am truly grateful for "goodly parents". So I am very excited about school starting (tomorrow actually!) and heading towards a goal I really want to accomplish.

On to the second and equally (or even more) exciting news. After struggling with infertility for four (almost 5) years and all the roller coaster emotions that come with that we have both come to a meeting point on what we would like to do. For us, we feel that there are just no guarantees for IVF (InVitro Fertilization). I am possibly going through POF (Premature Ovarian Failure) right now. With that and the low counts, we feel that it is just not worth the risk of spending all that money and it failing. Heath has been pushing adoption since we started down this road, but I was just having trouble accepting infertility yet alone adoption. I am pretty stubborn about letting things go. I think I have gone through all of the stages of grief finally and ready to move on with this new plan. I think we were meant to adopt all along. I was just pushing away all those promptings because I did not want to accept it. We plan on putting our profile out there in a year. This puts Heath closer to graduation and gives us time to put everything in order : saving money, etc. Although I have accepted this path it doesn't mean that all of my old feelings have gone away. I still cry when others announce a pregnancy, my stomach still aches when I see someone hold a sweet baby, and the maternity/baby aisles at stores still bring anger brimming to the surface. This is another reason we are taking a year before actively pursuing an adoption. I still have strides to make in overcoming this huge change in my life: not getting a family the way I thought I would. But we are both excited about the prospect of adoption and joy this can bring to our lives.

We are hoping this year brings lots of exciting changes and joy to our lives and hope the same thing for all of you.

ACL= Pure Awesomeness!

The Eagles in all their magnificence!

All 80,000 people at the festival. It was crowded, but fun!

Last weekend was the annual ACL (Austin City Limits) Festival. This equals 3 days of music (70 bands!) in Zilker Park, and I got to go to Sunday's festivities with my dad and brother. The Eagles were playing and if you know anything about my dad you know that he loves him some Texas Longhorn football and he loves him some Eagles. I grew up watching The Eagles Live in Concert: Hell Freezes Over DVD over and over again(although when we were younger it was a VHS :)). So we spent the day lazying around eating good food and listening to great music and then it was time! Time for some Eagles! It was an amazing concert. They are so good live and I've never seen my dad happier. It was great having my dad here for the weekend. I watched a lot more sports than I ever would, but it was nice just spending time with him.

Moving On!

This last month we did our last and final fertility treatment and much like it's predecessors it was a big, fat, epic fail. We are letting go of this part of our lives for awhile and are going to search out some other paths to travel down for now. Heath finishing school, me doing more school, going on some vacations and hopefully forgetting about the word Infertility and the pain it has caused in our life. We can no longer plan our lives around: when this treatment will work, when I am pregnant, when we have a baby, etc. Although we are moving, living, doing- infertility has put our lives at a stagnant standstill and we are ready to move forward with new plans. Being parents was such a big part of the dreams we had for our future and now that we've had one road block after another we are coming to terms with the fact that it probably won't happen for a very long time. We just cannot afford the price tag of In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) and I am not in the right state of mind to accept adoption yet. It is Plan B to me, and I would never want a little one to grow up thinking "My mommy couldn't have children so she adopted me". I feel bitter that there are all these women giving up their babies because they don't want them, can't afford them, can't care for them- and I would give anything to have a baby of my own and just can't. Simply just can't. I think I will have a long road of acceptance coming up. I am angry, bitter, jealous, sad, and heartbroken, and those feelings don't go away overnight (although I wish they did). I guess the biggest thing I am bitter about is that 4 years ago I gave up my dreams of what I really wanted to do in school and changed to the degree I have now so I could work from home and still be a stay at home mom. Now each day I work from home is like salt in my barren womb. Right now I am planning on extending my Associate's Degree into a BS in Health Information Management, but I am also thinking of the possibility of choosing a degree I really want to do. Maybe this is an opportunity to fulfill other dreams we have like : school, traveling, etc. One day this will all make sense..

Our little graduate!

The teacher had little graduation caps! Awesomeness!

It was quite a feat trying to get that hat to stay on her head.

Sophie graduated from her beginner obedience class last Wednesday. The guests of honor were Uncle Mattie and big "sister" Ally. She did a great job and as any biased "parent" would say.....I think she was the best :) She was younger than all the other dogs because they didn't get enough people for the puppy class so she got put into the next level with older dogs. She did great.....we didn't. She learned a lot but we didn't practice as much as we should have. We will take what we have learned and move forward and hopefully she'll be a well trained canine citizen! Congrats Sophie Jane, we are proud!

Hotel Breinholt was also booked this weekend. Mom and Dad brought Meme (dad's mom) to visit and to celebrate my dad's birthday. It was good seeing her and as always, we had a great time. Gram and Gramps bought Sophie a new kennel (to match Ally's) for graduation. She LOVES it and in fact hasn't left it so far today....and the door is open :)

Looking forward to a fun weekend with Ben, Mer, and the girls! Can't wait!

Catching Up!

We've had lots of fun things going on but I just haven't had time to post anything....

After Joey and Kira cam for the 4th, we had some other friends stop by as they were traveling to San Antonio. Forest and Jenny stayed with us from Thursday through Sunday. The best part of people coming into town (besides seeing them, of course) is all the fun things we get to see/do that we probably wouldn't do on our own. For instance, we've lived here for a year and have never been to the Capital- even though it is right by campus. So we got to do that- it was really amazing- beautiful land and architecture. Also they went to a couple museums on campus while I was working Friday. All in all a good time.

Then mom came to visit us for a couple days before her and dad left for their Alaskan cruise. It was nice to see her and the grand-puppies always love a visit from their Gram :)

After that it was Mattie's birthday, so what to we do? What any almost 30 year olds do, head to Chuck E. Cheese's of course! It's a tradition now- Davy comes from Fort Worth and we all head out to the local CEC and try and not look like child predators :) We had a blast as usual. Mattie won the skee ball jackpot a grand 19 times. It was insane. There was an audience surrounding him . Pure awesomeness. The best part is the end of night when we pool all our tickets together and see what we've made and then everyone gives us their slips to give to our nieces. So really it is like charity work :)

Then, this last weekend, we went home to Keller to watch the house while mom and dad were in Alaska. It was also Bennie boo's birthday. Ben and Mer brought the girls over Saturday morning to swim. After that we pretty much did nothing. I must say it was one of our most boring weekends home. Parents weren't home and everyone else was busy. Plus the main reason we came home was to mow the lawn, and we woke up Saturday morning to the neighbors finishing the lawn. Talk about good neighbors. They are LDS and super nice. But that left us pretty much with a wasted trip except for the small amounts of time we got to see Heath's family.

Other fun things coming up are: Sophie's Graduation and Heath starting school again!