Friday, September 13, 2013

How We Met Your (Birth)Mother

 Heath and I are very excited to announce that we have been chosen to be the parents of what we know will be the most beautiful baby boy due in November. We're ecstatic, excited, and overjoyed! So much in fact, that I cannot sleep....like at all. So it's 2 am and I decided it's time to write the story of how we met your beautiful, intelligent, caring birth mom. After the failed placement and IVF attempt this year we were pretty much taking a break from everything. Our adoption credentials needed to be renewed and we slacked on that. We were just moving forward hopeful that another adoption situation would happen, but weren't actively pursuing it. We kept wanting to go to Foster Care meetings, but something always came up or we forgot or just felt it wasn't the right time. So, in our church we fast (for two meals) the first Sunday of every month (sometimes it gets moved around, but always once a month). For some reason, we missed Fast Sunday in August so we decided we would fast on our own (not an uncommon thing to do-especially for illness, etc). So on Sunday, August 18th we fasted that we would receive direction on what to do next with our adoption. It was my best fast ever. I typically make up excuses not to do it, or am on medicine where you need to eat, or end early and don't really put my heart into it. This time I really said a prayer in my heart all day about what we should do. The lessons at church were great. I really felt the Spirit. And it was only with minimal (Heath will tell you otherwise :)) whining that we "broke" our fast that evening and ate dinner. The very next day we received our first e-mail from Amanda. I was elated. Not only because we were contacted about a potential adoption situation, but because I knew that it was an answer to our prayers. God was listening to me. He knew of our desires, and he let us know that he hadn't forgotten about us. Sometimes when you are caught in the midst of a trial you feel as though you've been abandoned. You plead daily and nothing ever comes of it. But I have learned that that is because God has his own plan for you. If anything, I was meant to learn patience from this long infertility journey. 

We wrote back and forth a few times. Amanda lived only a few hours away and wanted to meet us! In her e-mail it sounded like she had chosen us to be his parents, but we still weren't sure. The week before we were supposed to meet we didn't hear much. We were terrified. We had just come from the last awful adoption experience and we were cautious. We kept trying to find out exactly when we would meet, but didn't really hear anything until that Friday. We finally heard from both her and our caseworker. She'd like to meet with us at the Houston LDS Family Services building on Sunday at 10 a.m.. Holy smokes, this was really happening! We had never met an expectant mom in person. With T we met his great uncle/aunt who were caring for him (in their home), and we only talked to Beckie through e-mail/Skype/Facebook/Phone. I was a giant ball of excitement mixed with nervousness. What was she like? Would she like us? What do we say? We headed out Saturday afternoon to stay with some of our friends in Houston (Thanks Joey and Kira!) so we could be there to meet with her in the morning. We went out to dinner, and then Kira and I went window shopping to keep my mind off things. I barely slept that night. 

We woke up, got ready, ate breakfast, and then headed out. On the way there we got a phone call. It was Amanda. My heart immediately sunk. In my head I thought to myself "She is canceling." But she wasn't. Her car had broken down, and she was getting it fixed. She would just need to push our time back. I felt relief and we continued on our way to the meeting. That was the first time I had talked to her on the phone. She sounded so nice and upbeat (despite what she was going through with her car). So we made it to the LDSFS building. We parked the car, and waited. It was right next to one of our church buildings and since it was Sunday there were tons of cars pulling in next door, but it always looked they were pulling into where we were. Our heads would follow each car with excitement and then a look of disappointment would flood over them as they turned into the church parking lot and not ours. This happened a lot. It was funny. Some of the cars even pulled into our parking lot and then walked over to the church. Didn't they know we were waiting to meet someone very important?!? 

Finally an SUV pulled in and parked by us. Two women and a young boy got out of the car. We hugged and made introductions. We made our way into the building to a conference room. It was Heath, me, Amanda, her son J, and her caseworker. Her caseworker had brought snacks and drinks for everyone. I couldn't eat a thing. I was too nervous. I think Heath and I were silent the first 15 minutes while her caseworker put out the snacks. But her caseworker got us asking questions and we talked and had a great visit. It was a short meeting because it was Labor Day weekend and Amanda had some family in town. It's just amazing. Amanda isn't a member of our church, but came upon LDS Family Services. We were picked out of like 900 profiles (it was narrowed down more than that since she wanted someone in Texas). Our agency is completely based on the hopeful adoptive couples working hard to make a connection with an expectant parent. Sometimes you felt hopeless that it would ever happen. And it did. We just feel that it was meant to be. We have such good feelings about Amanda, and this match. We are looking forward to continuing to getting to know one another and establishing a life long connection with her and her family. It just feels good.

The baby's due date is November 23rd, but Amanda and her doctor's think he will be coming sooner-possibly October. So we are just busy preparing our home for a new little one, and thanking God for this miracle in our lives. 

Please keep Amanda and the baby in your thoughts and prayers. She is one amazing young lady. 

And that, Baby Breinholt, is how we met your (birth) mother. :)