New Year, New Plans

We have finally made a decision on two important things.

1. I am going back to school

and

2. We are going to adopt.

I start back to school this semester. I'll be doing online courses at TCC and am also putting in my application for the BS in Health Information Management program at Texas State University. If I get in, I will start their online program this Fall. Since I already have my Associate's degree I will be allowed to finish my final two years completely online. Pretty awesome deal. I have to do a great big shout out to my parents for once again stepping up to the plate and helping me out with the tuition costs until I am able to pay them back. My work does tuition reimbursement but-for logical reasons- they don't pay you back until after you've completed the courses. We struggle enough with paying our bills, taking care of two dogs, and taking care of Heath's school expenses so it was such a blessing for my family to be so willing to help us out. I don't know what I would do without them. They are always there when I need them. I am truly grateful for "goodly parents". So I am very excited about school starting (tomorrow actually!) and heading towards a goal I really want to accomplish.

On to the second and equally (or even more) exciting news. After struggling with infertility for four (almost 5) years and all the roller coaster emotions that come with that we have both come to a meeting point on what we would like to do. For us, we feel that there are just no guarantees for IVF (InVitro Fertilization). I am possibly going through POF (Premature Ovarian Failure) right now. With that and the low counts, we feel that it is just not worth the risk of spending all that money and it failing. Heath has been pushing adoption since we started down this road, but I was just having trouble accepting infertility yet alone adoption. I am pretty stubborn about letting things go. I think I have gone through all of the stages of grief finally and ready to move on with this new plan. I think we were meant to adopt all along. I was just pushing away all those promptings because I did not want to accept it. We plan on putting our profile out there in a year. This puts Heath closer to graduation and gives us time to put everything in order : saving money, etc. Although I have accepted this path it doesn't mean that all of my old feelings have gone away. I still cry when others announce a pregnancy, my stomach still aches when I see someone hold a sweet baby, and the maternity/baby aisles at stores still bring anger brimming to the surface. This is another reason we are taking a year before actively pursuing an adoption. I still have strides to make in overcoming this huge change in my life: not getting a family the way I thought I would. But we are both excited about the prospect of adoption and joy this can bring to our lives.

We are hoping this year brings lots of exciting changes and joy to our lives and hope the same thing for all of you.