Move along, move along...

Yesterday we went to do our fingerprinting for the adoption process. It's one of the last major steps before we move on to the home study. I can't believe how fast the process has gone so far. It has felt like months since we made that initial contact with our caseworker, but really it has only been 3 weeks! I started to panic yesterday thinking how fast it was moving. Most of that is excitement, but a little bit of it is apprehension. I think I figured it out though. With the paper work process we have control. We fill out the forms, we turn them in, we move on the next steps, etc. After all of that is done it is time to wait. I have all these thoughts like: what if we say the wrong thing? what if they don't like our pictures? what if we don't get picked? I feel like the nerdy kid on the sidelines wondering if they'll get picked to join someone's kick ball team. I'm trying really hard to push these thoughts aside and put my faith in the Lord that he will lead us to our birth parent(s) and them to us. I know in the end our birth parent(s) will love us for being us. I can't wait to meet them!

Enjoying The Journey..

I had a great day at church today. I passed babies in the halls, I held babies to help out a friend, I saw parents with their kids and there was no pain, no feelings of loss, no sadness. I mingled with other Saints. I laughed and listened to good lessons. To most this may not seem extraordinary. In fact, it's extremely ordinary. But these past 4 years I have struggled with church. My heart dropped as we would pull into the parking lot. I felt pained as we walked the halls. I felt as every lesson talked of being a good parent and therefor I couldn't relate. It was a long 4 years and I never thought it would get better.

But it did! Not just because we chose adoption and all my problems magically went away, but because I chose to enjoy the journey. I know each second, minute, hour, and day is bringing us closer to being parents. But on the bigger spectrum I know each day is part of a journey that Heavenly Father has planned just for me.

“Life is to be enjoyed, not endured”

― Gordon B. Hinckley

Start Spreading The Word....

Life is EXCITING right now. On 9/6 we met with our sweet caseworker, Brenda, and officially began the adoption process with LDS Family Services. We have been dutifully filling out online forms, offline forms, and sending in copies of documents. Brenda says we will probably be approved in December, but we are hoping it will be before that. I can honestly say that it has felt like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders since we prayerfully decided to pursue adoption. I have also learned though that choosing adoption hasn't alleviated all my past pain, but also stirred up some new feelings. My battle with Infertility was a rough one. I came out bruised and battered and wondering where my old self had gone. When we made the decision to adopt I felt alive again. I felt like my dreams were possible again. Shortly after we began the process and I was swimming in a mound of paperwork I felt exhausted. I felt as if I went from one hard situation (infertility) to another (the adoption process). I cried. And then I cried some more. Why was life so hard? Why did everything seem like a giant obstacle for me that seemed so easy for others? But maybe that was the point. Maybe all along this was the lesson I was to learn. Life is hard. We are dealt things that seem impossible to overcome. And it hurts. And you feel overwhelmed. But it is worth it. All of our struggles with infertility. All of our failed procedures. All of that pain. It was and is and will be worth it.

So that is where we are with the adoption process. Just continuing to send in things and patiently waiting to be approved. We know there is a special birth mother and child out there just for us. The agency talks a lot about waiting vs. finding and how finding is being proactive while waiting is the opposite. Although we are not approved yet we are going to begin the "finding" process now. Share our blog! Share our facebook page! Share our information with anyone you feel inspired to! We plan on making a button that you can paste on your blogs too. We're so grateful for the support our friends and family have given us and we're so excited for all of you to go on this journey with us!

Check out our Adoption blog:

breinholtadoptionjourney.blogspot.com

Or our Adoption Facebook Page:

http://www.facebook.com/breinholtadoption

Have questions? Contact Us!

breinholtadoption@gmail.com