Tuesday, March 17, 2009
I'm exhausted!
So my new job started this week and so far everything has gone well, but really all I've done is orientation so it's hard to really tell anything yet. Today, after getting up at 6, leaving for Irving at 7, having orientation from 8:30-4:30, driving in horrible traffic from 4:30-5:30, and then heading off to Presby-Denton to code from 5:30-7:30, I can honestly say I'm exhausted, VERY EXHAUSTED! So I guess this is how it's going to be for the next little while. Why, you ask, are you so crazy? Well, I kind of left Presby in a bad situation and so I said I would stay on PRN (as needed) to help out and most of all to make some extra money. It's a way better PT job than any Heath could get and this allows him to concentrate on his schooling and do well so he can get into Austin. So I am trying to get 20 hours a week at Presby while doing 40 for HCA, so it should get interesting. It'll be better when I start working from home and get an earlier start to the day. Wish me luck!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
New Job!
So you are looking at the new Coder II for HCA. I got a call today extending an offer of employment and I accepted. The pay isn't a ton better, but it's better. The benefits of working from home will be great. To be honest, I am very nervous about this new job and change. I hate change. Despite all that, I am really excited to start and extra happy to be able to work from home. This will be such a blessing for us in the future and if Heath gets into UT-Austin I will still have this job. So my last day with Presby will be Friday March 13th and I'm actually kind of sad about it. I love the people at work, but this is just a better oppurtunity for us. I start orientation on Monday, March 16th. Things are going to happen fast. I'll keep you posted.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Updates! Colleges, Moving?, and Jobs Oh My!
Well Heath finally applied to UT and UNT last week. He received a letter this week from UT stating that all his classes would not transfer and that he was short of being considered a Transfer Student. That's the bad news. The good news is that they're allowing him to turn his transcript in after this semester to still be considered. This makes me think two things:
1. They are actually considering him because otherwise they probably would have just sent him a denial letter.
and,
2. I think they really are looking to see how he will do in his Physics and Calculus classes since they are two of the prereqs they look at (the other one is Chemistry which he did great in) . He is currently doing awesome in these two classes too! Yay Heath!
So we are going to have to wait until May/June to know if he gets into UT. This throws off most of our plans considering I was becoming quite comfortable with staying here, but I am always up to UT and Austin. I practicaly grew up there via Longhorn football and my brother lives there so it would be great. But again I would be okay with UNT considering my job is here, our friends and family (most of them :)) are here, and I know the area like the back of my hand. So we are just waiting to find out and the great thing is that we would like either option so it is a win-win situation.
As for other news, I was afraid to blog about this, in fear of jinxing it in some sort of superstitious way, but I am currently interviewing with HCA for a better job oppurtunity. I had the initial interview on Wednesday (which I thought went well), and tonight I have the coding test. It is for a Coder II position and I would get to work from home. Not only that but it offers better pay, better benefits, and just pretty much everything better. I am really hoping this works out because it would be perfect for us. If I got this job, even if we did move to Austin, I could still work for them since it is remote (from home). I love most everything about my current job but this one just offers a better situation for our future. I'll keep you posted on how everything goes. Wish me luck!
1. They are actually considering him because otherwise they probably would have just sent him a denial letter.
and,
2. I think they really are looking to see how he will do in his Physics and Calculus classes since they are two of the prereqs they look at (the other one is Chemistry which he did great in) . He is currently doing awesome in these two classes too! Yay Heath!
So we are going to have to wait until May/June to know if he gets into UT. This throws off most of our plans considering I was becoming quite comfortable with staying here, but I am always up to UT and Austin. I practicaly grew up there via Longhorn football and my brother lives there so it would be great. But again I would be okay with UNT considering my job is here, our friends and family (most of them :)) are here, and I know the area like the back of my hand. So we are just waiting to find out and the great thing is that we would like either option so it is a win-win situation.
As for other news, I was afraid to blog about this, in fear of jinxing it in some sort of superstitious way, but I am currently interviewing with HCA for a better job oppurtunity. I had the initial interview on Wednesday (which I thought went well), and tonight I have the coding test. It is for a Coder II position and I would get to work from home. Not only that but it offers better pay, better benefits, and just pretty much everything better. I am really hoping this works out because it would be perfect for us. If I got this job, even if we did move to Austin, I could still work for them since it is remote (from home). I love most everything about my current job but this one just offers a better situation for our future. I'll keep you posted on how everything goes. Wish me luck!
Monday, February 9, 2009
The Sickies
So Heath and I have finally overcome the Texas Epidemic. It first started with him getting sick and then a week later me and then a week after that our friend Kira. Sorry Kira! I got it worse than them all of course thanks to my pretty non existant immune system. I had a visit to the doctor that ended with a nice shot in the bum and some antibiotics (my absolute enemy in this world). So we are finally well and loving it.
This weekend we ventured out to a neighborhood we've been looking at and took a peek at their homes. It is called Sendera Ranch and is located in Haslet, not too far from where we live right now. We loved a couple of the houses and they are actually in our price range. We were pre-approved for a home, but aren't pursuing it due to the lack of funds we currently have. I don't make as much as I should because of high insurance, FSA account, 401K, and taxes being taken out. So actually I am looking for a raise or a new job so we can get into one in the near future. It was fun to go look and realize that our dream of owning a home isn't that far away. The great thing about this neighborhood (if we stay in this area, it's all dependent on where Heath goes to school) is that it is like a little community. It is a huge neighborhood with lots of parks, pools, schools, and even a market center. It would be a great starter home and a great place to raise a family.
So we are just concentrating on saving money and looking forward to all the great oppurtunities in the future. We would appreciate your prayers for us concerning Heath's school choices and getting into school and also new job oppurtunities that have come my way. Thanks for your love and support!
This weekend we ventured out to a neighborhood we've been looking at and took a peek at their homes. It is called Sendera Ranch and is located in Haslet, not too far from where we live right now. We loved a couple of the houses and they are actually in our price range. We were pre-approved for a home, but aren't pursuing it due to the lack of funds we currently have. I don't make as much as I should because of high insurance, FSA account, 401K, and taxes being taken out. So actually I am looking for a raise or a new job so we can get into one in the near future. It was fun to go look and realize that our dream of owning a home isn't that far away. The great thing about this neighborhood (if we stay in this area, it's all dependent on where Heath goes to school) is that it is like a little community. It is a huge neighborhood with lots of parks, pools, schools, and even a market center. It would be a great starter home and a great place to raise a family.
So we are just concentrating on saving money and looking forward to all the great oppurtunities in the future. We would appreciate your prayers for us concerning Heath's school choices and getting into school and also new job oppurtunities that have come my way. Thanks for your love and support!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Fertility Funhouse, it ain't that fun!
So I completely agree that matters like this are private and between husband, wife, and the Lord, but gosh darn it, I am just really over all this "trying to conceive" business.
Most may look at us and think "When are they going to have kids?" or "Are they putting money before family?" or the like, and I can honestly and bitterly shout WE WOULD LOVE TO! and NO WE ARE NOT! Recently I have found many other women who struggle with fertility and even pregnancy issues and have found peace and understanding in their stories. So maybe, just maybe someone out there is looking for my story.
Heath and I started along this road about a year ago. It just 'clicked' in both of us that we were ready to start a family. I was extremely excited because, well heck, I have been ready since Day 1 of marriage. There was just one thing I needed to do in order to prepare. Visit with the doctor. I decided to do a pre-pregnancy check-up. I was concerned about a gene that my cousin's family had- the Factor X gene. It is the number one cause of autism and retardation. Not that the results would change things for us, but it was something that I wanted to get checked out. So a needle puncture later we were waiting for results back from the chromosome analysis. Two weeks later I headed into the doctor for the results. I sat nervously waiting for the doctor. She came and plainly stated "Well you don't have Fragile X". I was relieved. She went on...."But it does look like you are missing part of one of your X chromosomes." Wait? What? What the heck does this mean? What will it mean? She went on to say "You should either not get pregnant or do IVF." I left. I walked down the hall. Down the stairs. I opened the door. I walked towards my car. And then it happened. I just let loose and cried my eyes out. I saw my dreams, my biggest dream, slowly slipping away. How could this be? This was completely disheartening to me considering how naive I was about the whole process (for example: the fact that you only have a 20% chance to get pregnant each month anyway!)
The following week or so I visited with a Genetic Counselor who eased my worries and explained things much better than the OB/GYN (remember doctors don't know everything, especially those incompetent in genetic issues). So pretty much the deal was this: Women who are missing a whole X chromosome have Turner's Syndrome, I did not have Turner's and did not exhibit any Turner's signs or symptoms, I can not give my children Turner's (well not anymore than any other woman, Turner's happens when the cells are dividing, just like my abnormality), and most comforting: I am not weird. Hehe I liked that last one. What it could mean: early menopause (like age 30), Premature Ovarian Failure (again, like age 30), and a harder time conceiving a boy (since most likely if they received my "broken" X then the pregnancy would miscarry). All equal a high possibility of infertility. Boy do I hate that word. Other feelings attached to that word are incapable, incompetent, and inability. I felt those things in the following months, along with anger, bitterness, pity, loathing, emptiness, unhappiness, jealousy, unfairness, loneliness, and a lot, I mean a lot, of misunderstanding.
So we went on trying each month without any good news. The first months were full of disappointment and even fear. Fear that something inside of me was broken. I felt like a complete failure as a woman and especially as a wife. I felt alone and worthless at moments. Heath was amazing. He didn't understand, but he was amazing. He tried so hard to make me feel better, but I was a constant vacationer on the island of self pity. So more months went by and I just became angry. I resented anything that dealt with pregnancy (especially at work when I would work on charts that dealt with 15 year olds who were pregnant or talked with people who almost regretted having children). I asked Why? How?. I begged with Heavenly Father. I even thought I was being punished by Heavenly Father. I was miserable and I'm pretty sure it was miserable to be around me. I yearned for pregnancy, the feeling of an infant in my arms, and just had a desire to begin our little family. But nothing happened. 10 months have passed and still nothing. Don't get me wrong, I know my time in the land of infertility has been short compared to others, but it is still painful, it still feels lonely, and it still feels empty.
And for those of you on the edge of your seats wondering.....this story doesn't end in pregnancy, at least not yet.
At about month 6, due to my 'high risk' for infertility, I saw a fertility specialist. I got a pelvic sonogram done and some blood tests and everything checked out perfectly. 4 months have passed since then and still nothing, and I'm finally okay with that. I'm not saying it doesn't hurt each month and I don't cry sometimes. And I'm not saying that I don't still feel pangs of jealousy or bitterness when friends or even strangers announce/flaunt their pregnancy(as they should! It's great news and I would too!), but it is becoming okay. I am okay because of a plan. Heavenly Father's plan and the knowledge that I know he cares, he knows me, and he hears me. A part of me is so grateful that pregnancy has not been easy for me. I now know the pain and grief that is attached to infertility and the feelings that you experience. It is especially hard because you feel left out at church when things are centered around being a mom, taking care of kids, and it seems like everyone is pregnant. I know that things will happen, whatever they will be, in God's time. God it perfect in his timing, and the timing is always perfect. I am extremely grateful for this time Heath and I have to become closer, to prepare for the future, and just grow as a family of two, but look, with hope, at the future and what it holds, whatever it may be.
Most may look at us and think "When are they going to have kids?" or "Are they putting money before family?" or the like, and I can honestly and bitterly shout WE WOULD LOVE TO! and NO WE ARE NOT! Recently I have found many other women who struggle with fertility and even pregnancy issues and have found peace and understanding in their stories. So maybe, just maybe someone out there is looking for my story.
Heath and I started along this road about a year ago. It just 'clicked' in both of us that we were ready to start a family. I was extremely excited because, well heck, I have been ready since Day 1 of marriage. There was just one thing I needed to do in order to prepare. Visit with the doctor. I decided to do a pre-pregnancy check-up. I was concerned about a gene that my cousin's family had- the Factor X gene. It is the number one cause of autism and retardation. Not that the results would change things for us, but it was something that I wanted to get checked out. So a needle puncture later we were waiting for results back from the chromosome analysis. Two weeks later I headed into the doctor for the results. I sat nervously waiting for the doctor. She came and plainly stated "Well you don't have Fragile X". I was relieved. She went on...."But it does look like you are missing part of one of your X chromosomes." Wait? What? What the heck does this mean? What will it mean? She went on to say "You should either not get pregnant or do IVF." I left. I walked down the hall. Down the stairs. I opened the door. I walked towards my car. And then it happened. I just let loose and cried my eyes out. I saw my dreams, my biggest dream, slowly slipping away. How could this be? This was completely disheartening to me considering how naive I was about the whole process (for example: the fact that you only have a 20% chance to get pregnant each month anyway!)
The following week or so I visited with a Genetic Counselor who eased my worries and explained things much better than the OB/GYN (remember doctors don't know everything, especially those incompetent in genetic issues). So pretty much the deal was this: Women who are missing a whole X chromosome have Turner's Syndrome, I did not have Turner's and did not exhibit any Turner's signs or symptoms, I can not give my children Turner's (well not anymore than any other woman, Turner's happens when the cells are dividing, just like my abnormality), and most comforting: I am not weird. Hehe I liked that last one. What it could mean: early menopause (like age 30), Premature Ovarian Failure (again, like age 30), and a harder time conceiving a boy (since most likely if they received my "broken" X then the pregnancy would miscarry). All equal a high possibility of infertility. Boy do I hate that word. Other feelings attached to that word are incapable, incompetent, and inability. I felt those things in the following months, along with anger, bitterness, pity, loathing, emptiness, unhappiness, jealousy, unfairness, loneliness, and a lot, I mean a lot, of misunderstanding.
So we went on trying each month without any good news. The first months were full of disappointment and even fear. Fear that something inside of me was broken. I felt like a complete failure as a woman and especially as a wife. I felt alone and worthless at moments. Heath was amazing. He didn't understand, but he was amazing. He tried so hard to make me feel better, but I was a constant vacationer on the island of self pity. So more months went by and I just became angry. I resented anything that dealt with pregnancy (especially at work when I would work on charts that dealt with 15 year olds who were pregnant or talked with people who almost regretted having children). I asked Why? How?. I begged with Heavenly Father. I even thought I was being punished by Heavenly Father. I was miserable and I'm pretty sure it was miserable to be around me. I yearned for pregnancy, the feeling of an infant in my arms, and just had a desire to begin our little family. But nothing happened. 10 months have passed and still nothing. Don't get me wrong, I know my time in the land of infertility has been short compared to others, but it is still painful, it still feels lonely, and it still feels empty.
And for those of you on the edge of your seats wondering.....this story doesn't end in pregnancy, at least not yet.
At about month 6, due to my 'high risk' for infertility, I saw a fertility specialist. I got a pelvic sonogram done and some blood tests and everything checked out perfectly. 4 months have passed since then and still nothing, and I'm finally okay with that. I'm not saying it doesn't hurt each month and I don't cry sometimes. And I'm not saying that I don't still feel pangs of jealousy or bitterness when friends or even strangers announce/flaunt their pregnancy(as they should! It's great news and I would too!), but it is becoming okay. I am okay because of a plan. Heavenly Father's plan and the knowledge that I know he cares, he knows me, and he hears me. A part of me is so grateful that pregnancy has not been easy for me. I now know the pain and grief that is attached to infertility and the feelings that you experience. It is especially hard because you feel left out at church when things are centered around being a mom, taking care of kids, and it seems like everyone is pregnant. I know that things will happen, whatever they will be, in God's time. God it perfect in his timing, and the timing is always perfect. I am extremely grateful for this time Heath and I have to become closer, to prepare for the future, and just grow as a family of two, but look, with hope, at the future and what it holds, whatever it may be.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Sleepover Fun with Sydney!
Sydney had been asking if she could spend the night with us for awhile now, so Friday we made plans and she came over to stay. It was so cute. She had a rolling suitcase with all of her favorite things (even her ceramic toothbrush holder because according to her "I will just miss it". hehe).
So she came over around 5 and we played a little Rock Band (she loves to play drums) and after we were done we made dinner. We had hot dogs and veggies and then for dessert we had S'mores (marshmallows were roasted in the oven). She of course was more interested in the S'mores than anything else (She had two :)). So then we watched Meet the Robinson's and Tinkerbell. And I will admit, I actually liked the Tinkerbell movie. In fact, Sydney got bored in the middle of it and started jumping on the bed, and Heath and I stood there with our eyes glued to the TV. Pretty sad. Well after that we got Syd's jammers on, brushed her teeth, read her a book, and watched some illustrated scriptures off the LDS website. Then we said ours prayers and went to bed.
It was the longest night of my life. Only because I am not used to having children in our home, so I was constantly worried about her waking up or needing something. So we all tossed and turned all night and finally around 4:30 or so we got some good sleep. Then we woke up around 8:30 to eat breakfast. We had pancakes with strawberries and bacon and eggs (oh and if you ask Sydney she'll tell you we allowed her to put jellybeans on her pancakes.....and it's true! hehe, the perks of being the aunt and uncle). So then we got dressed, or should I say got Sydney dressed, and then barely had time for us to throw on some clothes before heading out to clean the church with Ben and Mer. I now know why mothers don't have time for themselves. :)
Needless to say we had a great time and the next day when she was tired and cranky from not getting sleep and having too much sugar we handed her back over to the parents. Hehe, how great! But seriously we really enjoyed having her over and are grateful every day for being so close to family and getting to enjoy things like this. We love spending time with them!
And to finish the weekend off we had a lot of fun with Joey and Kira, and I even worked on my apron that I am making with my new sewing machine from Christmas. I got a pocket done (Mom Breinholt would be proud!), woo hoo!
Hope you all had a fun weekend too! Love yah!
So she came over around 5 and we played a little Rock Band (she loves to play drums) and after we were done we made dinner. We had hot dogs and veggies and then for dessert we had S'mores (marshmallows were roasted in the oven). She of course was more interested in the S'mores than anything else (She had two :)). So then we watched Meet the Robinson's and Tinkerbell. And I will admit, I actually liked the Tinkerbell movie. In fact, Sydney got bored in the middle of it and started jumping on the bed, and Heath and I stood there with our eyes glued to the TV. Pretty sad. Well after that we got Syd's jammers on, brushed her teeth, read her a book, and watched some illustrated scriptures off the LDS website. Then we said ours prayers and went to bed.
It was the longest night of my life. Only because I am not used to having children in our home, so I was constantly worried about her waking up or needing something. So we all tossed and turned all night and finally around 4:30 or so we got some good sleep. Then we woke up around 8:30 to eat breakfast. We had pancakes with strawberries and bacon and eggs (oh and if you ask Sydney she'll tell you we allowed her to put jellybeans on her pancakes.....and it's true! hehe, the perks of being the aunt and uncle). So then we got dressed, or should I say got Sydney dressed, and then barely had time for us to throw on some clothes before heading out to clean the church with Ben and Mer. I now know why mothers don't have time for themselves. :)
Needless to say we had a great time and the next day when she was tired and cranky from not getting sleep and having too much sugar we handed her back over to the parents. Hehe, how great! But seriously we really enjoyed having her over and are grateful every day for being so close to family and getting to enjoy things like this. We love spending time with them!
And to finish the weekend off we had a lot of fun with Joey and Kira, and I even worked on my apron that I am making with my new sewing machine from Christmas. I got a pocket done (Mom Breinholt would be proud!), woo hoo!
Hope you all had a fun weekend too! Love yah!
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